The Top 10 Things I Learned Most About Dealing With a Life Change

2011

#10
Stop Overthinking
You are wasting precious time
Overthinking will only lead to anxiety
Overthinking is NOT focus

#9
People are not mad at you
They are just jealous


2015

#8
Let it the Fuck Go
Keep a routine, but stop stressing over details
The most successful and interesting people in this world didn't get that way by keeping clean sinks and made beds

#7
Remember What IS Important
Refer to #8 for assistance


#6
Do It!  Do It Now!  Do It Yesterday!  Chances are....you planned for this

#5
You Will Not Recognize Yourself
This is kinda the point....because you've CHANGED!

#4  Remember the Past All You Want as long as you don't relive it

#3  Regrets are Stupid
                                   You learned something...unless you're stupid

#2  Stop Reading Other People's Quotes and go write your own!

And the #1 thing I learned most about change is...
You Can Do It!  But it Means You Have to Change.



This Kid

Neil playing dress up at The Young School

This kid, he's mine o' mine
His name is Neil and he is working out just fine

He sings ABC's, but not on queue
and always has "morning hair-do"

His laugh is contagious, I must admit
although sometimes it is kinda hard to quit

We get so silly, me and him
We forget that the kitchen is not a gym

We squat and jump, dance and sing
Him and daddy throw balls at just about everything

He says "Holy Smokes!" and "That's not an option"
points out what's dirty and cleans it with caution

He's cute and he's funny and that's no lie
but really he's anything but mine o'mine

He is Neil James Sobus, call him by name
                                                                    because anything else would not be the same
                                                             


                                    









Top Ten Reasons to Cut Your Long Ass Hair

Before the cut

10.  It will no longer take all of my free time to curl my hair

9.   The resident plumber will enjoy clog free drains

8.  The Dyson will be able to operate once again without daily hair untwining sessions

7.  Neil will no longer have to tolerate my hair somehow become lodged into his diaper

6.  I won't have to request time to take longer showers just to wash and comb my hair

5.  I will feel really good about the way I look for about a week afterwards

4.  I will be able to have "bed head"

3.  I will lose at least a pound

2.  I will be able to see my shoulders again

1.  ......and the #1 reason to cut my long ass hair.....to make a sick, little girl feel somewhat normal again with something that I will no longer take for granted everyday.

Health Drama

Although I don't write about health topics, I certainly do yap about them enough. I guess it hasn't been until now that I have realized it as an actual "interest". It's one thing to like something enough to read about it and maybe watch the occasional "Dr. Oz" show, but once I realized I was clearing a room full of snack goers at the office, I kinda realized I'm a little bit nerdy about it. Learning the calorie content of almost any food didn't gain me a any popularity.

But over the years, it has saved me and my family a lot of unnecessary pill popping. Don't get me wrong, I believe in modern medicine and am extremely thankful for the extra years I will be living in comparison to my ancestors as well as the comforts I felt compared to them in child birth. However, we all know, prescription medication has become far to easy and habitual, even, to those with a pesky pain or a chronic problem. Yes, I had to mention "Dr. Oz" somewhere in this post. But for me, it is rare that I have any interest in following trends or watching television. He is one of the few "celebrities" that I can respect for using his voice and his power to educate the public in a way that we will finally listen. He is thought of as a doctor with "alternative thinking" in his field. I find that statement to be as ridiculous as saying former NRA leader, Charlton Heston is conservative. Oz's way of practicing medicine is no more than using common sense. I have a great respect for his way of charming the public with his sense of humor and cute smile into believing what he is preaching. It's easy for me to explain a workout, natural remedy or the nutrition of your lunch to anyone, but I find, most don't want to hear it. And if they do, they will probably go home learning nothing from what I had said. Gee....I suppose that might be due to the fact that I am not a doctor.

But honestly, most Americans just do not want to hear about their health. Whether it's a fear of death or a commitment they don't take time to make; there is always an excuse to just go ahead and "pop that pill". But the truth is, medication is costly and health care is ridiculous. Is popping a pill really easier? There's hope. Americans are realizing the importance of nutrition and exercise. More and more consumers are buying better quality foods and becoming educated on the adverse effects of eating processed foods on a daily basis. Those that complain of a higher grocery bill, I would challenge them to compare that to the cost of a hospital stay, an uninsured prescription or a higher insurance deductible due to diabetes. Although I agree the cost of food has risen, I also have priorities. Good, healthy and nutritious food is the energy we complain about not having, the memories we forget we have and the endurance we need to keep up with our own lives and those lives of the ones we love. Yes, it is that important. Your health is that important. It truly is the most important thing we can do in this life, take care of ourselves. Those that think that is selfish, let me know in ten years who will be taking care of whom. Our families and loved ones depend on us. If we want to show compassion and caring to them, lets show compassion to ourselves to ensure we will be healthy enough to help.

25 Things about the Author

>1. I live each day to work towards a goal. The goal constantly changes so I am also working to find a true purpose.

2. I believe that I am destined to be a mother...even if it is not to my own.

3. I work everyday to improve my quality of life by taking care of my health #1 and #2 by showing my loved ones that I care.

4. Money doesn't give me freedom, happiness does and happiness comes from owning less and doing more

5. I dance at least 3x a week for 30 min., headphones and ipod on with the door locked, in front of the mirror. Madonna is a challenging workout partner.

6. I am opinionated, honest and sometimes brutal. The truth hurts, but it is how I learned. Someone very special to me taught me that at an early age and I have him to thank for getting out of an extremely self destructive experience. You know who you are.....love you.

7. I learned things the hard way, at a very early age. It's called consequences.

8. I love to party, but because of #7... I sometimes take a very responsible approach.

9. I love to write, mostly about my travels. I would write more, but I cannot afford to travel as much as I'd like.

10. I would love to excel in my business, but now is not the time. That time will come. In the meantime, I write.

11. My best friends both live in a town called Manchester. One in the US and one in England. No matter what we are doing or how far apart our lives may be....they will always have a special place in my life.

12. I believe that selfishness comes from self destruction. People misconstrued taking care of one's self for selfishness. I believe that NOT taking care of yourself leads to selfishness. Your loved one's should not have to worry about your habits....you should.

13. I believe that most people's intentions are good, but laziness gets in the way of a good relationship.

14. I am truly a Libra. One side...equal to my past...self destructive, outgoing, try anything. The other...my future trying to ground me...responsible, passionate, grateful.

15. I drive a BMW.

16. I love martinis, especially Pomegranite...a new found love.

17. I do not like to shop, go to the salon, gamble or do anything in excess, but I spend way too much money on Vodka.

18. My home is simple and small and I have no desire to move until retirement. When I do, it will be in a smaller house in a better location.

19. I am addicted to lipgloss, chapstick or lipstick.

20. I only have two enemies, both are the only two people in this world that scare me and truly disgust me at the same time.

21. I would love to rent a house on Vieques with 4 of my best friends.

22. I am renting a house this summer with friends in the OBX and am looking forward to the Peace.

23. I believe in Barack Obama and his message

24. I love fashion, but hate trends.

25. I love being independant, but hate being alone.

An account of Frank & I's experience in Vieques on a moonlit night swimming in the brightess Biolumenscent Bay in the world....Sept. 2008, our 10 Year Wedding Anniversary

In all the places and all the sunsets & stars...


Me & Frankie celebrating 10 years at the
 Inn on Blue Horizon

I never seen so bright that of the milky way that night
above the glow of the sea below
gliding among us and touching our skin
sparkles like diamonds, water like silk
dancing in the night was the water around us
feeling so bright, the lite within us
together with air
star crossed lovers will share

What Nature Intended

Flying in to Vieques

I am only hoping that I can write about such a tranquil island as Vieques in a way that you can only imagine the experience I had just a month ago on this tiny, still much unknown island.
Situated 25 minutes (by twin prop) off of the East Coast of Puerto Rico lives a tiny island called Vieques. What I had learned prior to visiting was only a taste of what my husband & I would discover on a destination I will not soon forget.
(please refer to my previous Blog to review a bit of history of the island)

Upon arriving to San Juan Airport and boarding our twin prop plane; I was already feeling the excitement of what was just beyond the stretch of beach and lush mountain tops we would bypass on the mainland of Puerto Rico. As we flew beyond the mountains I looked outside of the plane to see what lied ahead...Vieques. Glowing with green and blues, trees and sand, it was a remarkable sight to land on this unknown place.

Driving in our rental Jeep, we immediately knew that the creatures, the horses and the natives ruled. We stopped for horses as you would stop for deer, allowing them to quietly glide along their way to their respective homes. Most have owners, but are allowed to roam free during the day. They feed on the land and roam as nature intended. They are healthy and beautiful and also serve as a much needed mode of transportaion on an island where walking is most dangerous. We saw for ourselves a native woman colapse from the sweltering heat and immediately called for help. The people are kind and good. Laid back, but not stupid. They know how to survive with nature. A place where lobster and fish are plentiful. Where fish feed on red root trees in the mangroves that provide birds a home and so on....
This takes me to the Bioluminescent Bay. Only 12 exist in the world and we attended the brightest of them all. A place where National Geographic even had a hard time photographing. As the BioBay, is intended to be a memory, a feeling. Something I can only try and explain in words. As we ventured out on our electric pontoon boat, the driver amused us by stomping on the floor. As we looked over the side we could see the fish scurry in the dark waters, glowing bright as the stars above. It was night and the sky was the most beautiful I may ever see. Every constellation was viewable and the entire Milky Way could be seen. With a dark sky and still waters ahead, we anchored and dove in. There we all were, swimming, glowing in the dark. Like little kids, we swam in the water while these amazing little "fireflies" lit us up each time we moved. As our bodies left the water and climbed aboard, our skin lit up as though liquid diamonds streamed down our legs.

During the day we would drive all over the island. In the evening we would dine in the trees. There was a new beach each day to explore. Not one ever inhabiting another human. The waters were crystal clear and stayed shallow as far as the eye could see. The fish would kiss your feet as you walked in sand as smooth as baby powder.

The Inn on the Blue Horizon. A hidden gem, with only the rooftops showing through the trees. As you walk further on through the winding pathways, past the mystical buildings you see as far as you can see. The Inn, situated on a bluff is an unforgettable place that you can only dream about. The rooftop views, the endless pool and the amazing cuisine is only the beginning. Paul, Mayra, Yolanda and the many others are there for you night and day. They are not only dedicated to what they do, they love what they do. This is their home and they are happy to share it with you. They are not your waitstaff, they are your friends. It is a first name basis at the Inn on the Blue. You are part of their family during your stay. The nature surrounding the cottages and guest houses takes your breath away. As I stared out from the infinity pool, one day, overlooking the bluff. Just beyond my shoulder, a wild horse came running from the brush out toward the ocean. There was no sound, but the trot of his hoofs. It was simply the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. That is until...

Our flight home. Looking down upon Vieques, there was a rainbow. Below the plane, we flew over the rainbow. Unlike Dorothy though, I felt there was a new place I would like to call home.